I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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