when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
