my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
