worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
