dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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