I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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