I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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