I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
