it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
