and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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