wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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