I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
