5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
