What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
