...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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