Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
