The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is Oprah even human
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
