AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
