well you can't waste a boner
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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