Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
