I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
