So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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