help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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