I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
