I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
