Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
