Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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