i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
