I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So apparently I’m into choking now
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
