So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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