is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
