I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
