He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
