Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
