Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
