I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
