And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
