Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
