Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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