I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
