Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
