is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
