I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
