His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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