I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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