somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
