I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
