ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
false alarm, still single
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