he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
