..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize