were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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