yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize