My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
