I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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