Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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