Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize