I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did you pee in the oven last night??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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