nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize