There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
